Growing Old Gracefully

It is possible that I am the only 22 year old in history with a desire to cut the crap and get old already? All of the drama and worry that accompanies growing up and coming into one's own is nothing more than an inevitable annoyance that eventually leads to wisdom and confidence. Certainly the former is necessary in order to obtain the latter, but if it were up to me I'd skip it altogether! 

If a person plays her cards right, she can grow old with grace and dignity and no longer have to worry about petty fights between friends, relationship drama, or circumnavigating the job market. If she takes care of her mind and body, she can live comfortably with her health and peace of mind. The attitudinal aspects of growing old with grace are not the only things I look forward to; I love to think of the day when I can wear cardigans and brooches, get my hair done once a week, appreciate the company of only my cats, watch antique roadshow, enjoy the benefits of AARP, and utilize such technology as the jitterbug and life alert. Even life in a beachfront retirement village seems a-ok to me. 

Yes, I realize that in order to live such a perfectly ideal life, to avoid chronic health problems and loneliness in my twilight years I must plan ahead. I must work hard and take care of myself, build strong relationships and prepare for speedbumps. Growing old gracefully is the result of a long journey and it is hard work, which is why once I get there, I expect the payoff to be worth it. I expect nicknacks and bundt cakes and bridge parties galore! Vodka-tonics midday and road trips to Reno. I expect a group of girlfriends with fanny packs and a gentleman caller who knows when to leave.

 I may be the only 22 year old who can't wait to knit, and go to bingo, and yell at the tv, but I may also be the only one who knows exactly what she wants out of life. When others are well into old age still trying to figure it out, I'll be out for a joyride in my too long car wearing a Halloween sweater.